Elsie’s Story: From Confidence to Crisis and Learning to Live Again with Lupus and Psoriasis

I used to spend a lot of time in front of my mirror, I loved to see myself. I took such great care of my skin; the spa treats and the best skin products. At 25, I was in my prime, having completed my tertiary education and finally landed my first job. My life was taking shape. I was looking good, I was strong, I was ready to take on the world. Or so I thought.

All was well until I suddenly started feeling weak and my joints where aching terribly . I got very sick and was moved from hospital to the hospital looking for solutions to what ailed me. It took a whole year to be diagnosed . The physician said it was Systemic Lupus Erythematosus ( Lupus) and finally If it had a name and was known we could treat it. There was hope for me. 

One noticeable sign of my condition was a rash on my face that looked like if a butterfly had perched and spread its wings (butterfly/malar rash). As it faded gradually, I noticed some patches on my skin, especially on my hands and legs, and then my scalp. I had to cut my hair because it started falling out in large patches. At this point my skin looked terrible. Thick angry looking flakey patches.

Me who would spend extra minutes looking at my reflection couldn’t bear to see myself again.

Psoriasis was the name of what had begun to happen to me and it came with bad, crazy itching. My skin became so dry and cracked especially around the joints and it also became very sensitive. 

It was difficult to step out publicly, the stares, the distance people gave me . Felt like I had a plague, the remarks eventually became unbearable. I lost my job, friends and interest in life. I resigned myself to staying at home on most days. 

The treatments too were very expensive I was left with stretchmarks, moon face(swollen), scars and a rough bumpy skin. My Self-confidence was totally eroded, life itself was bland. While all my mates were getting married and living their best lives, I was stuck in my bedroom which was mostly dark or routinely attending hospital appointments.

I have recovered a bit of my self-confidence over a time but my scars and patches tell a story that is hard to miss. I barely look in the mirror still and I barely show skin, I still barely go out. 

I am trying to find myself but now I am living one day at a time.